2024: A Guide for the Grumpy Designer

Curious about what the future holds? Wondering how artificial intelligence (AI) will impact web design? Or if you’ll ever get that elusive Bluesky invite? Look no further, because I’ve got all the answers for you.

It’s time for my annual look into the year ahead. This satirical report is filled with useless facts and mindless predictions, making it just as good as any other year-ahead article on the internet.

So, how do I do it? Well, like most internet companies, I use a secret algorithm that involves looking at the past and using my overactive imagination. And if you’re interested, you can have access to this algorithm for a small fee.

Now, let’s dive into what 2024 has in store for us. Here are some things that absolutely will (or probably won’t) happen.

WordPress.com to Offer Tweet Rebuttals

Last year was eventful for WordPress, with some positive and negative moments. The divide between co-founder Matt Mullenweg’s commercial venture (Automattic) and the open-source project caused quite a stir. The issue arose when Automattic’s WordPress.com replicated plugin listings from the WordPress.org repository on its site.

This led to concerns from plugin developers who felt that the commercial site’s listings were given priority in search results. Mullenweg faced criticism and even got into public confrontations regarding the issue.

But out of this controversy came an idea. WordPress.com will soon introduce its “I Beg Your Pardon?” service, where Mullenweg will personally respond to critical tweets for a fee. And if you can’t afford it, there will be an automated response from a bot available for free on WordPress.org.

Apple Will Thrill Fans with AI

Rumors suggest that Apple is working on an artificial intelligence platform. While the details are still unknown, I have a few predictions about what it might entail.

A Stiff Barrier to Entry

Apple is known for its premium products and tight control over them. So, it’s safe to assume that their AI offering will only be available to Apple device users. Additionally, accessing their AI will require a proprietary cable, which will come at a high cost and with a long wait time.

An AI Powered Website Testing Suite

Web designers will be excited about Apple’s AI testing suite, which will allow them to troubleshoot websites on various devices, including classic Apple devices like the Apple IIe and Newton handheld.

It Will Be a Roller-Coaster Year for Elon Musk

Elon Musk is known for his unpredictable nature, and 2024 will be no different. From revealing his secret stash of buried Atari cartridges to inventing an implantable microchip for chickens, Musk will keep us entertained throughout the year.

Other highlights include Musk reinstating banned Twitter accounts, the Tesla Cybertruck starting deliveries with a flamethrower feature, and the introduction of an “Autonag” option in Tesla’s Autopilot system.

Best Wishes for 2024!

While the predictions above may be silly, they highlight the fact that we’re in a time of change. AI is disrupting the web design industry, and we’ll need to adapt. But as web designers, we’ve weathered many shifts before, and we’ll continue to do so. So, let’s take a deep breath, find something to laugh about, and make 2024 a great year.

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